Recurring Dream

My head feels heavy; I start to drift off into a light slumber

I’m walking down a lone, dark trail

There is someone ahead of me

He is walking, back turned, and his hair catches a gentle breeze

Something about his presence draws me in

And makes me want to reach out and touch

I speed up but I go nowhere fast

He is still ahead and our speed is creating an unbearable distance

Unwanted

He turns a corner and disappears while I overcome my time warp

I try to catch up but all in vain

He is gone

My knees shake and sit on the cold ground

I hear something

Footsteps

I feel a smooth hand go through my hair

I look up

But I cannot see his face

I find myself locked in an emerald stare that freezes time

Nothing but those burning cat eyes

Then I wake up to realize it was only a dream…

Leave

There’s always something to say

No one can be honest anymore and you’re the worst

Maybe I should hate you for this one

I’ll say “Stop, don’t…

Oh yeah, I’m a touch overrated

But you beat me by a long shot

I have never lied to you

And don’t ever say you didn’t

I’m prideful and selfish

But your give me a run for my money

Now let’s start another fight

Let’s run around acting like we’re happy

Let’s put up that front just so we can get by

You can blame everyone but me

I’m tired of headaches and heartaches

Tired of people and bad luck

But none of that could ever come near you

Everyone wants me but you,

And I think that’s exactly how I want it

I can’t wait to see how you get by…

Innocence

You see her, standing there, with only her shadow

She leans against the breeze and never moves

Just stands there, almost like she’s waiting

But what is she waiting for?

What causes this soul to stand still while time flies?

The autumn leaves blow around in a flurry

You take a step forward, hoping not to alarm

Her back is to you, and you can feel the pureness of her presence

Suddenly paralysis sets in and you can’t move

You feel a inner calm that settles your racing mind

Your thoughts become clear and clean

While you’re taking in this new feeling, she turns

You take a breath when you see her

She pushes her blonde hair from her face

You lock eyes with this beautiful creature

You feel her aqua eyes raid you soul

Her lips curve and she walks past you

Leaving you in utter awe

You snap back to reality and continue on your way

You’ll never see anything like her again

You’re left with one question

Why?

Dance

Dancing on solid ground,

Spinning and stepping without a sound

This routine is getting more and more wild,

Dancing and dancing like its going out of style

The moon comes up as the sun goes down,

Jumping and stomping all over this town

Down winding trails with a hop and a skip,

Moving this entire place with a sway of a hip

It keeps on going but you don’t know how,

It’s lasted this long, there’s no stopping now…

Tick Tock

Time is my enemy

Only because it goes so fast,

I set my clocks early because I know I’m always late

And time keeps moving

And I keep losing,

Allow me to digress..

Now I have to force my way back into the game

While my tongue is in intricate knots that a boy scout would walk away from,

And I can’t unravel them

And my eyes keep traveling,

And I can’t keep my gaze averted from temptation

For I seem to be so good at finding it,

I wear my heart on my sleeve

I rep it like a fabulous black eye to a permanent bruise,

And it seems to be my weakness

But also my witness,

I’m always going somewhere but never getting anywhere

Without the slightest clue that nowhere is the destination,

And I always get there just to see nothing

And I feel like I’m spinning and tilting though I’m standing on solid ground,
My curiosity gets to me

Though it won’t kill me the troublesome situations that come about might,

So don’t ever speak too soon and always anticipate chaos to arise in our paths

For we must always be the kids to make waves,

And even though you’re crashing it may not be so bad as long as the title fits

Though I’m looked over and passed through,

They never seem to notice that I’m a ticking time bomb with a taste for madness

And those who see me still don’t see me,

And they always bring me down to a stunning nothing

But I keep running and they keep gunning trying to beat the best,

But they don’t understand that their wasting their time because it’s a hopeless race

Case open and case shut,

The tragedy keeps thriving

And who could ever love the beast,

Come one,

Come all,

To witness the falling of a statue,

For that’s really what its all is about…

I Must Be Getting Ill Again…

I stumble around and fall against walls

I’m getting weak again

My knees give out, I get all shaky

And my heart rate makes my head spin

 

I turn around and take a step

And hope like hell I won’t fall

I miss my mark, my body crashes

And I feel myself start to crawl

 

But I feel no pain and when I do its great

What kind of sick mind am I cursed with?

I get to a corner and curl into a ball

This feeling should be one of myths

 

I rock back and forth hoping for the end

A surge of energy and something I can’t quite place

I push myself up and lean for support

I’m going to make sure this life isn’t a waste

 

My strength comes back as strong as before

And I take my first steps on the road filled with light

 I’ll trip and fall and lose my grip

But I’ll stand right back up and fight…

Let’s Start the Show…

A walking bundle of sadness

With a talent to mask all emotion,

He slips through cracks of depression and anger

Broken with a glass heart,

So fragile he can hardly be handled

 

There she is with a shield and a ton of pride

So completely different but so close,

She feels no love and to pity makes her grimace

He feels strongly and he wants to be heard,

And she would rather disappear to avoid all worries

 

He hides behind awkward jokes and charm

Masking disappointment with a laugh,

She is always moody and takes everything seriously

Always waiting to pounce on an open opportunity,

Friendship so pure and will stay forever

 

She needs someone and there he is with kind words and sincerity

He wants her but she has nothing other than friendship to offer,

She has been hurt and feels no affection towards anyone

He has been hurt but can still feel with his entire being,

The wish for something better still remains

 

She hates herself because she can’t give what’s wanted

He hates himself but he’ll never tell a soul,

She wants to help but can’t find a way

He wants her help but he thinks it’s a lost cause,

They are the best of friends and she would die without him

 

And this will go on and will always be accepted

As long as they have each other,

She’ll continue to be hopeless

And he’ll continue to be hopelessly hopeful,

Go fetch a camera because you won’t want to miss this…

Short, Bitter, and to the Point..

Here I am again watching time slip by

Staring off into space and wondering why,

Frustration, confusion, anger, why has it come to this

I said I never would, I guess it’s a hit and miss,

 

Crush it up, swallow it down, show it fire, and breathe it in

I’ll just sit here and let its dizzy effects begin,

I’ve reached out but to no avail

I can’t count on others but my escape will never fail,

 

Pupils dilate and waves crash into me

Pushing, tumbling, suffocating gently,

I think I’ll lie down now everything is getting blurry

If I don’t stop soon it’ll be too late to worry…

A World of ‘What Happened?’

-Blinded..

He came from no where with the intent to make a mark, leave foot prints, if you will. He just walked right into my life. My world was thrown side ways and I couldn’t make it stop. Everything about him made me come to a halt. All I wanted was to be near him, close to him, with him. But certain things take time and I had all the time in the world. 

-Who is he…?

The smell of his clothes made me weak at my knees, and made my body tremble. The smell of his skin had me floating on imaginary clouds of passion. The sound of his voice was a bitter sweet song of humor and tenderness. His laughter was the very least a whole-hearted, quiet tune. His hair was a soft mess of tangles. His eyes could burn holes into my soul and his stare told me everything he just couldn’t say.  His breathe was hot and sweet as he made me melt into a peaceful puddle on the floor. His touch was like a taser sending 1,000 bolts of electricity through me and making my skin tingle. He had a laughing smile that warmed me from the inside. His stride was long and proud and I just couldn’t take my eyes off of him as he moved with his special grace. When he walked past me I had to grab a wall for support for fear of collapsing. He knows more about himself than he wants and I know less about myself than I should, so let’s get this show on the road.

-Slipping away…

He came into my life with such a blunt and brutal quickness, and then he left quicker than a lightening bolt leaving shattered glass in his path.

- Ahh, the good times we’ll never get back, but let’s hold our breath just in case…

I’m not sure what happened. One moment I’m in pure bliss then the next I’m crushed like a ton of bricks landing on ice. Polar opposites yet we were totally the same. I am the moon and he was the sun. He left his light slithering in my veins and I loved it. Then he left and I wanted to rip my skin away just to get rid of what he left behind. He made a trail to my heart but he never made it over the cast iron fence, or so I thought. When he left I sensed a breach in the very armor I had worked so hard to create. They say ignorance is bliss but he knocked me from my dream world and let me fall till I hit rock bottom.

-Time is running out …

I never knew how he felt and I never asked. He is still here but he isn’t, he is leaving soon. He let me get my hopes up because he said there may be a next time but now everything has changed. I get to go back to the place where he was and I get to relive every memory that me and him had made in the short time of us being together.

-I had to tell him…

I didn’t want to do it over the phone but that was the only way. I told him how I fell for him and he was so different and special, then he asked how and why. And I couldn’t tell him for I didn’t know myself. He never called me again and I never called him. I thought about him and I still do but I guess it’ll stop once he is gone for good. All the words I didn’t have then I have now and I’m sure he won’t listen.

-I have to move on…

 I’m a trooper and I can handle it, it just sucks that I have to. I’m tired of sitting on the sidelines waiting for the results. I feel like I have to do something to save myself from the pain. But out of it all I’m not as hurt as I thought I would be. I have only one clear emotion that I can find the word to.

-Ah yes, go, go I’ll not wish you back again…

At first I was devastated and I took everything I heard and ran with it. But once the truth sank in all I could feel is let down. I’m so tired of disappointment because that’s all I get. I do stupid things to make myself feel better even if it means trying to hurt the ones who hurt me.

-What kind of person am I?

Obviously I’m a horrible person who does horrible things to be happy. And out of all that realization I realize that there is one thing that I’m good at and one thing I do with flying colors.

-Keep your temper…

I’ve heard that many times but never but in a way that made me listen. There aren’t a lot of people who can calm me down; I can count them on one hand. I have a tendency to explode first and then take names. I’m not quiet by no means even though I may get the point across better if I didn’t scream. People find it hard to understand what I’m saying when I go into my rampages.

-You needn’t shout…

Oh but in my mind I do, and I wish someone would try to make me stop. Everyday I wish for someone to push that button, someone to cut my last string so I can finally let it all out. But no one gives me the signal, no, because no one talks to me in a way that might cause temporary insanity.

-A ticking time bomb…

One day it will be too late to stop what’s been started, one day I will go off the deep end because someone wanted to play games. I’m losing complete sanity and I’m trying to stop it. But that day is far away and I can only hope and pray for the idiot who triggers me.

-In the mean time…

I’m trying to change who I am. It’s so hard to go from what I’ve always known to being something I’m new to. I’m trying to find peace in myself.  I may like the person I become. And to do that I’m taking a step back and I’m getting out of the race and I’m going to dread getting back into it.

- I guess I’m Mrs. Unlucky…

Things will never work out how I want them to. Let’s make the world topsy turvy but never flip our own, because that just wouldn’t make any sense, and if we manage to flip it then we’ll set it right again. There is always tomorrow and for now I will lie in the grass and find shapes in the clouds.

-Time to put up the top hat and put the camera down, I’m tired of watching the world go by without me, I just have no strength to join it, I bid you ado.

We are the music makers and we are the dreamers of the dreams but isn’t that what they want us to believe? Yes, I do borrow lines… But only the ones worth it. I have my ways but with little or no consequence.

What a beautiful letdown… almost like a bitter-sweet love song gone wrong..

Too Much To Ask

If I say I want you,

everything about you,

anything to do with you…

Would you laugh nervously 

and make a joke? 

Would you shake your head,

call me stupid,

and walk away?

Or would you look into my eyes 

and crush my dreams?

But I’ll never tell you that

because your so good at doing the last 2 

its not even funny..

Sometimes,

I think your incapable of caring

or letting anyone in…

Were you abused

or neglected as a kid?

Did you let someone in 

and did they break your heart? 

Is that why your so critical 

and mean?

Tell me when I’m warm 

and I’ll try to use it to put some heat back in your veins…

But even though I know I should give up…

 I won’t…

Because I do care…

Just let me know when you wanna feel something too…